Why Relapse Happens Even with Therapy: A Compassionate Look for Parents

At our centre, we often celebrate the incredible progress children make in therapy—whether it’s managing anxiety, coping with big emotions, or developing healthy behaviours. But sometimes, after weeks or even months of growth, we hear from a concerned parent: “Things were going so well… why is my child struggling again?”

This is what we call a relapse—a return of symptoms or behaviours that had previously improved. And while it can feel frustrating or disheartening, relapse is a normal and even expected part of the healing journey.

Here’s why relapse can happen, even when therapy is working:

1. Healing Isn’t Linear

Progress in therapy doesn’t happen in a straight line. Children grow, learn, and develop in stages, and emotional growth is no different. A child might take two steps forward and one step back. This isn’t failure—it’s part of the process. It means they’re trying to use new skills, and like learning any new habit, it takes time.

2. Stress and Change Can Trigger Old Patterns

Life doesn’t stop while therapy is happening. Changes at school, family stress, social challenges, or even a poor night’s sleep can shake a child’s emotional balance. These stressors can make it harder for them to use the coping skills they've been learning, especially in the early stages.

Relapse often shows us that more support is needed during certain transitions, not that therapy has failed.

3. Children Are Still Developing

Unlike adults, children’s brains are still growing. They are constantly learning how to think, feel, and act in different situations. What works for them at age 7 might not work the same way at age 10. A relapse might simply mean a strategy needs to be adapted for their current stage of development.

4. Underlying Issues Take Time to Heal

Some behaviours—like outbursts, withdrawal, or anxiety—are surface signs of deeper struggles. Therapy can help with immediate coping, but healing root causes takes time. A relapse may be a sign that your child is ready to work through deeper layers now that they feel safer or more supported.

5. Therapy Is Practice, Not Perfection

Children don’t need to be perfect to be healthy. Therapy isn’t about “fixing” a child—it’s about helping them develop emotional tools they can use across their lifetime. Like any skill, these tools require ongoing practice. Relapse is often an opportunity to revisit, reinforce, and refine those skills.

What You Can Do as a Parent

• Stay Calm and Supportive: Your child will look to you for how to react. Remind them (and yourself) that setbacks are okay.

• Communicate Openly: Talk to your child’s therapist about what’s changed. They may adjust strategies or offer additional support.

• Reinforce Skills at Home: Review coping strategies with your child. Celebrate the small wins—even the effort counts!

• Be Patient: Progress can be slow and subtle, especially with emotional growth. Every moment of support you offer matters.